Miss M: Mama, do you know why a foot is called a foot?
500Jerk: Hmmm . . . no, why?
Miss M.: Because 12 inches is the size of a king’s foot from a long time ago.
500Jerk: Hunh. Neat.
Miss M: And do you know why a pound is called a pound?
500Jerk: No, why?
Miss M: Because that’s how much the queen weighed. A pound. She was all, like, shrivel-y.
500 Jerk: [Laughter.]
Miss M: No, really, that’s why. Stop laughing at me, Mama. Stop.