You probably know the old saw, "The definition of eternity is two people and a ham." After the Easter ham the 500Jerk family ate for six days last week, I could not agree more. In the wake of Easter dinner, we had ham sandwiches, ham omelets, and ham dinner redux. We ate it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I fed it to the kids, the dog, the visitors. I even thought about feeding it to our chickens, but somehow that seemed wrong. For some reason (general tightwad-ness? OCD?), I could not bear to throw the ham away, even though it got saltier and saltier as the week went on. By Friday, it was almost inedible. Still, we persisted.
The worst part is that the 500Jerk Spouse was out of town the entire week, leaving me with two small children and this insurmountable ham. So he's ready for ham dinner next Sunday, and we've all had enough of that processed pink meat for a lifetime.
Ham. The very word makes me shudder.
NO MORE HAM.