Dessert Makes You Smarter

The 500Jerk kids are undergoing standardized testing at their school this week. This means a lot of concentrating, then waiting quietly, a virtual impossibility for the irrepressible Boy Wonder. Although the teachers typically run the kids outside in between tests, the nonstop East Tennessee rain we're enduring poses a slight problem. As a parent, I’m all for letting kids play in the rain, but I sympathize with the teachers. A crowded room of damp kindergartners is like being trapped with a pack of frisky wet dogs. At least there’s no licking.

Although come to think of it, you can’t really even count on that.

At any rate, we’ve encouraged Miss M and Boy Wonder to get lots of rest and do the best they can on these tests. And as a bribe to stay the course, I am offering a hitherto unheard of luxury in the 500Jerk household: DESSERT EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK. We have strawberry shortcake, we have peanut butter pie, we have ice cream, we have brownies, we have pound cake, all for the taking. Standardized testing week is hard enough, and dessert?

Well, everyone knows, dessert makes people smarter.