Whelps

Or, the Developmental Equivalence of Boy Wonder, a Six Year-Old Human, and Posy, a Three Month-Old Newfoundland Pup

MESSY
BOY WONDER: Assembles Legos and paper airplanes at manic pace; litters home with what appears to be trash, but actually are precious objects to be righteously defended from disposal efforts.
POSY: Trashes mudroom, chews shoes, scatters debris; looks on curiously at cleaning efforts; re-destroys room as soon as unmonitored.

ORALLY FIXATED
BOY WONDER: Cannot keep fingers out of mouth for wiggly teeth; lacks teeth necessary to eat nonliquid/nonsquishy foods.
POSY: Practices with new teeth on shoes and human body parts; drools.

RULE-BREAKING
BOY WONDER: Does not respond well to most rules.
POSY: Does not respond well to any rules.

HYGIENE PROBLEMS
BOY WONDER: Often needs a bath; smelly feet.
POSY: Often needs a bath; generally smelly.

SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIORS
BOY WONDER: Eats others’ food; taunts elder sibling into rage; takes toys; demands singular attention.
POSY: Eats others’ food; taunts older dog into rage; takes toys; demands singular attention.

SLEEPS LIKE THE DEAD
BOY WONDER: Cannot be awakened; sleeps contorted and half-hanging off bed.
POSY: Chronically sleepy; sleeps wrapped in a small tight knot by air conditioner vent.

FUN-LOVING
BOY WONDER: Always ready to play rough.
POSY: Ditto.

LARGE FOR AGE
BOY WONDER: Off the charts and growing rapidly.
POSY: Too big to pick up and growing rapidly.

UNQUENCHABLY THIRSTY
BOY WONDER: Always looking for a drink.
POSY: Ditto.

CUTE FACTOR
BOY WONDER: High.
POSY: High.