Here's how it went down after Boy Wonder complained that his first-grade teacher planned to show The Polar Express on Friday INSTEAD OF HAVING REAL SCHOOL, OH NOOOO:
500Jerk: Boy Wonder, you complain about way, WAY too many things. Seeing a movie instead of having school is A GOOD THING. You don't complain about that.
Boy Wonder: But * whiny voice* I don't like movies.
500 Jerk: Well, that's silly. Your complaining is now limited to important things only. Things that really matter. Like broken limbs. Fires. Fox in the henhouse. You get the picture, right?
Boy Wonder: I guess so. But *whiny voice* I don't like it.
500 Jerk: That's too bad. We've had enough of all your complaining. Let's make sure you understand. Give me an example of something worth complaining about.
Boy Wonder: *thinking hard (so much to choose from)*
Boy Wonder: *thinking hard*
Boy Wonder: *thinking very, very hard*
Boy Wonder: You can still complain about kale, right? I mean, kale is TERRIBLE.
So, OK, no leafy greens for dinner Chez 500Jerk. We'll just have to see how the rest of it goes.