Some lessons the mothers in my life taught me:
1. Liver is good for you.
2. Move right along.
3. Try not to be a major maladjustment. See #2, supra.
4. TV makes your brain rot.
5. Also, comic books.
6. Hot dogs are better fried and wrapped in bacon and cheese.
7. It's hard to be a single mother.
8. Homemade food tastes better.
9. It's easier to let someone else pump the gas.
10. There's comedy in almost everything.