Thursday, October 29, 2009

A Reductionist Solution to Nearly Everything

One fun thing about having kids is getting to re-learn all the stuff you forgot from elementary school. For some reason, this forgotten stuff is much more interesting and relevant the second go-around. At dinner last night, for instance, Miss M described what she'd been learning in science. More specifically, what animals and plants do when their environments become less livable:

1. Migrate;
2. Adapt; or
3. Die.

Miss M explained this scientific observation by using the analogy of humans having no electricity in the winter, with their choices being to (1) move to Florida; (2) huddle under a blanket; or (3) die. In a moment of blinding insight, I suddenly realized these options address about 95% of my problems. It's a pleasingly simple one-size-fits-almost-all solution.

So when you feel you can't stand one more day of your office-mate snapping his gum so loudly you can hear it through the walls?

Migrate, adapt, or die.

That job driving you crazy?

Migrate, adapt, or die.

That otherwise wonderful neighbor who likes to pipe Barry Manilow through her outside speakers?

Migrate, adapt, or die.

That cafeteria food getting you down?

Migrate, adapt, or die.

I'm thinking of taking up chanting this three times a day. Like a mantra. I'm telling you, elementary school is chock-full of forgotten wisdom.


AppyLove said...

I love it! Especially since, with my husband's Match Day approaching for residency approaching, we're looking at a lot of "migrate and adapt" scenarios. I'm going to keep this in mind while we weigh the residency-vet school-baby decisions.

500Jerk said...

Babies are the best thing ever. But there's a lot of adapting to be done.