SEE WHAT CAN HAPPEN?
That's right, though you'd think grocers on Halloween would be selling pumpkins like nobody's business, there are actually no pumpkins to be had on the day itself. No matter how many stores you visit (e.g., seven) or what increasingly desperate price you're willing to pay, there will be no pumpkins available. None.
And you will be forced to stand in line for twenty minutes at an insanely crowded East Tennessee Wal-Mart--thereby confirming your worst opinions of discount shopping--to purchase the best substitute you can think of: the lowly, non-orange, completely ridiculous . . . CANTALOUPE.
In my case, as it turned out, the other children had brought their own previously purchased pumpkins to the party. THEIR parents were thinking ahead. And the 500Jerk children are good-natured and old enough to be amused with being the only children in Knoxville having to carve melons on Halloween. But I know I will never EVER live down the day they had to carve cantaloupes on Halloween.
Because carving cantaloupes on Halloween? That?
That is just LAME.