1. She chews up our woodwork.
2. She eats our shoes.
3. She plays with the water in her bowl by slapping her gigantic bear paws in and out of it. No, really.
4. She jumps on our guests. Especially the small, slow ones. And the old, infirm ones.
5. She chases our chickens.
6. She sweeps laundry, library books, and DVDs our friends have loaned us off the counters and takes them outside to chew on.
7. She digs holes in our yard.
8. She barks at 4AM.
9. She is very, very messy.
10. She torments our elderly Lab.
11. She does not come when she is called.
12. She knocks down our trash can and spreads garbage all over our lawn.
13. She tears open our UPS packages and plays with their contents.
14. She chews up our Christmas ornaments and Christmas presents.
15. She herds us.
I love her. I love her in all her furry black and white badness. She is very fun, mostly because she is so ridiculously large and mischevious. And she loves me. She's a big cuddler, and she's going to be a good dog. One day.
If she lives that long.