Monday, July 27, 2009

I Am the Human Bermuda Triangle of Technology

In the last few days, my mere presence seems to have short-circuited the limited technology available in the 500Jerk household. I’m not sure what the universe is trying to tell me (Stay in bed? Get back to the land? The end is surely nigh?). All I know is that technology has failed me in a big way, and I am NOT HAPPY about it.

1. Both my home cable and Internet connection are out. Because our phone is linked to the cable service, it is not even possible to call the cable company to complain. Use your cell phone, you say? See infra, at 2.

2. Cell phone dies sudden inexplicable death.

3. “New” phone is inherited from 500Jerk Spouse, who has long since upgraded to a Blackberry. No contact information can be transferred by singularly unhelpful Verizon tech, so all my quick dial phone numbers are lost. Also! “New” phone blares Rocky Top as a ring tone. GAH.

4. Due to the disk being full, Tivo unilaterally elects to delete five True Blood episodes I’ve been storing (cue keening and rending of garments). True Blood is the ONLY series I've watched in the last four years. In fact, the only reason I learned to turn my TV on AT ALL is to watch this show. GAH. Inexplicably, Tivo keeps five episodes each of Chopped and Giada at Home. GAH. GAH.

5. Now that I can actually call Comcast with my "new" phone, our home Internet connection re-connects sporadically, usually when a Comcast representative is on the line. This makes remote diagnosis of the problem impossible and gives the appearance that I am incompetent/insane.

Someone please tell me, why must everything fail at once? Who is responsible? Is this in any way linked to the recent appearance of a flock of crows at my house? What does it all mean?



Rachel Z. said...

I read this entry to my mother (500Jerk Spouse Brother Spouse?), and she suggests that the problem is caused by the modem. She says that she has had a similar problem before, and that the only way to fix it was to replace the modem.

Rachel Z.

P.S. My phone died a sudden, unpredicted death this week, too.

Rachel Z. said...

P.P.S My mother said I should specify that it is the cable company's modem that they installed in your house.

Good luck!

500Jerk said...

Thanks, Rachel--I need all the help I can get. Hope you are doing well.
Aunt 500Jerk
PS Say hi to the 500Jerk Spouse's Brother's Spouse for me.